Odd night

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: melancholy

In Vino Veritas, sort of, except I almost feel sober.

I'm not sure why I feel the way I do. I doesn't really make much sense. The night just felt odd from the get go. 3 of the people I was with were drinking water all night. It was just that odd kind of night.

Went out to that place in the Valley. Sing a little karaoke, have a little send off for a friend who's moving down south (3rd send off really). Sang a couple songs I'd never tried before. Should have been a good night. But instead it was odd.

Seeing my friend move out of state shouldn't have been so huge. I don't think it was. We'd known each other about a year, nothing big. There'd been a harmless and pointless flirtation -- ladies, why is it that you flirt even when you know nothing could become of it, it confuses me -- but really, just a random friend; a once a week acquaintance, really.

So if that's not why I fell sort of odd at the moment, what is? I saw an old friend yesterday. She was in town from Germany for a couple days, so we caught dinner. Early tomorrow she'll be back on a plane for Colone. Won't see her again 'til July. But I talk to her online from time to time, and she's only away temporarily. That's probably not why I feel off.

I've been a bit preoccupied with another friend of mine of late. She's in a bit of legal trouble, and in central Europe (no, she lives there normally). Early Saturday I heard from her. She said she'd be going back to see her parents for a few the weekend, but left me with no information regarding her troubles. So, I worry about her a bit. But is that why tonight felt so off. Likely not, as I didn't even think about it until the drive home.

So what is the root of this oddest of feelings. You ever go out, and it just doesn't feel right? It feels like no one's quite having a good time. The idle chit chat is forced. I don't know. I just felt wrong. I sensed it the moment I walked in, and 4 hours later, I felt like I'd stayed far longer than I should have.

So, on the way home, I just thought. Every song sounded sadder than it should have, an although I passed the diner everyone went to after they left the bar, I had no desire to stop. It didn't foretell any better feelings than the bar I had just left. I came straight home, getting in about a half hour before even last call. And I type.

Think maybe I'll just go to bed, and hope by the morning things feel normal again. I'm a bit confused anyway, because I had Friday off, and by now I feel as I should be going back to work in the morning. How sad is it when a day off doesn't really feel like a bit of vacation, but instead just fucks with your mind. I don't like my job, but in a screwed up way, I think I missed it this weekend. Then again, ask me about it on Monday and I'll likely curse it as usual.

One last piece of the bizarre... at one point it the night I sneezed. When I did, my necklace of mahogany and hematite -- the one I wear most every day -- randomly exploded. My neck is not that huge. Very strange that it should just break like that. Little beads everywhere. If you believe in that kind of thing, hematite is supposed to absorb negativity. When it has absorbed more than it can bear, it is supposed to break. I thought I had pushed away all the negative people in my life. Maybe in the end, I broke it. All I know is I have to go to American Eagle or Aeropostále, and find something new. Life's too short to worry about the emotional stability of your neckware.