The weight of the world has made me 3" shorter

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: crappy

I don't know why I'm typing. Telling the world I'm overwhelmed isn't going to make me any less overwhelmed.

The rain, I think, is making me feel everything just a bit more today. It's a dreary day, and it echoes me well today.

Fortitudine Vincimus, the family motto, "by endurance we conquer". I'm not much for the conquering right now, but I'm doing my fair share of enduring. Conquer what?

Disjointed. Both this blog and my thoughts. I guess the latter is really the cause of the former. I just don't know what I can do to get a handle on my thoughts right now.

I write because I need to talk. More, I need to be listened to. But that can't happen unless I talk. I can't talk. There isn't a single person I can unload everything on. Not that I don't believe in my friends. I have great friends. And to each one I share a little bit of my pain, and keep other parts for myself. Each one wonderful in their compassion, but none of them capable of handling the big picture -- everything at once.

Correction, capable is not right. At least not on their part. Its my fault. I am not capable of telling all of it to any one person. Or not willing. But either way, it won't happen.

But today it consumes me. Stress can effect the body physically. Today my shoulders ache from the emotional weight I've carried on them.

I hope this isn't taken as whining. I just thought if I typed a bit I might be able to let go of even the tiniest part of it. Can't say it worked.

Currently listening :
Stone Temple Pilots - Purple
By Stone Temple Pilots
Release date: 07 June, 1994