1000 HP Dubbie

Bugatti Veyron 16.4

Philzor touched on this monster in a blog a while back, but I was recently reading up on it, and decided to extol the virtues of this, possibly the worlds most powerful car. And of course, if you know anything about me, more importantly than how ridiculous this beast is, is the fact that it is for all intents and purposes a Volkswagen.

Then-boss of Volkswagen Ferdinand Piëch bought Bugatti a few years ago and commissioned design a concept car. "This," he said, "is what the next Bugatti will look like." And then, without consulting anyone, he went on. "And it vill have an engine that develops 1000 horsepower and it vill be capable of 400kph." Thus, the latest car to bear the Bugatti nameplate was born.

Jeremy Clarkson, who had the awesome privilege to drive, né pilot, the new Bugatti, had this to say:

"Make no mistake, 200mph is at the limit of what man can do right now. Which is why the new Bugatti Veyron is worthy of some industrial strength genuflection. Because it can do 252mph. And that's just mad.” 252mph means that in straight and level flight this car is as near as makes no difference as fast as a Hawker Hurricane.

You might point out at this juncture that the McLaren F1 could top 240mph, but at that speed it was pretty much out of control. And anyway it really isn't in the same league as the Bugatti. In a drag race you could let the McLaren get to 120mph before setting off in the Veyron. And you'd still get to 200mph first. The Bugatti is way, way faster than anything else the roads have seen."

Here are the amazing stats of the new Veyron... and no, I can't figure out what the 16.4 refers to in its moniker.

Engine: 7993cc (yup, 8 Litre, or 488 Cubic Inch), 16 cylinder (VW W16 configuration)

Power: 1001bhp @ 6000rpm (because that extra 1 horsepower makes all the difference)

Torque: 922 lb ft @ 2200rpm

Transmission: 7-speed DSG, manual and auto

Acceleration: 0-100 km/hr: 2.5sec

Top speed: 407 km/hr (253mph)

Fuel Economy: 11.7mpg (Goes 200 mph and still gets better gas milage than a Hummer)

Bottom Line: €810,345 (about $1.5 Million)


I so need one. Yeah, I know, I could hit the Lottery and still not afford one. Now, if everyone on my friends page contributed $11,000 (enough to buy a Mini Cooper S... outright), I'd still come up a couple hundred short. So, to whoever out there has the disposable income to buy one of these, I say this:

I want a ride!!!

Mr. Murphy and his damn law

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Current mood: exhausted

Just got home from work. 3 hrs and 45 minutes later. Bad enough day at work... Bad enough week, really...

But 3 hours and 45 minutes between my job and home -- usually 20 minutes. For what? A stupid flat tire.

A flat tire should be resolved in less than 3 hours and 45 minutes. No? Not today, I guess.

So I'm a half mile from my exit. Hear an odd noise. Like the noise a vibration would make, but without the vibration. So I pull off at the gas station... its flat. Well not very flat. There isn't much flat a 45 series (low profile) tire can get.

Air. Nope. Tire is losing air faster than the pump can put it in. OK, call wife. Have wife come to gas station with my extra tires. What the heck, I have 5 spares! Wife calls back. Her truck covered in ice. Where's ice scraper? Windshield wiper is... Cell phone dies!

Now I have my phone on me every day. Charge it every night. Battery lasts 3 days. Nope. Cell phone will always die when tire is flat.

Wife arrives at gas station with spare tires. With the full-size spare in my trunk I now have 9 tires with me. Jack in hand, trusty VW tool kit at the ready... VW lug wrench doesn't fit after market BBS wheels!

Back home. Change out of work clothes into jeans. Get lug wrench. Call tire place. Road hazard: yes, tire in stock: no, get it tomorrow: possibly. OK, I can deal with that. Phone on charger, back to gas station.

Round 2- Lug wrench: check, Jack: check, Spare tire: check check check check check. Jack up car. Jack crank is of course longer than ground clearance. Bust knuckle. Ow! Still going. Wheel off. Other wheel... What the ?!? How does the OEM wheel not fit?!?

Inspect hub. Inspect wheel. Inspect other wheel. Hmmm... Oh, hub spacer. Hub spacer? Weird after market BBS wheels. Just... take... off... Damn! Hub spacer won't come off.

Contemplate. Car up on flimsy roadside jack in gas station parking lot. Flat tire fits, spare tire doesn't. Could take flat tire to tire shop and have flat replaced, but can't leave car in parking lot on flimsy jack. Could put on spare and drive car to tire shop, but spare tire won't go on. What do I... Wait! Roadside Assistance!!

Call VW roadside assistance. Flat tire. Yes, I have a spare. No, I can't put it on. No, I don't think he could put it on either. Flat bed? One hour? OK. Mmm... gas station dinner.

OK, well, the towing went OK, and hopefully I'll have a new tire tomorrow. Got no car until then. But damn you, Mr. Murphy. Did if have to be today? I'm tired.