Twas the day before Christmas...

... and all through the town, not a creature was stirring... can't find rhyming noun.

I rode the 7:48 into the fair Elm City with 6 other people this morning... 3 of whom got on at my stop. I've never seen the train that empty. It was eerie. I guess no one works Christmas Eve anymore. Possibly too busy beating each other over the last Transformer in Toys-R-Us.

Against what I might call rational judgement, I was actually engaging in commerce yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I expected. I even... dare I say it... went to the mall. Granted, the lines were a bit longer, and the toy stores looked as if violent tornadoes had relieved them of most of their merchandise, but over all, not the terror I would have expected.

I finished the grand bulk of my Christmas shopping just after Thanksgiving this year, so I had nothing Earth-shaking I had to buy -- that might explain why I was able to navigate the pre-holiday chaos in a relatively stress-free way. It also allowed me a better opportunity to observe the masses -- to view the last-minute shopper in its natural habitat.

This morning, some of my co-workers shared this discussion, so I must in fairness state that not all of these observations are my own. But, that being said, allow me to present to you some thoughts on the last-minute shopper.

20 or so years ago it was the Cabbage Patch Kids; this year, the toy you'd most likely see two adults getting into a fist fight over: Transformers. I saw plenty of displays for them, but not one actual Transformer on a shelf; a couple in carts. I saw a cashier bringing back some cash register restock with at least on Transformer in the basket -- alas some unfortunate person got to the register only to find they couldn't afford little Joey's Transformer -- no less than 3 grown men, sacrificing their spots in a 2-hour long check-out line, dove on the basket to acquire the single, unidentified Transformer action figure.

This year's big shelf-stocking error: Wrestlers. The store shelves are overflowing with them; there are no less than 80 different wresting figures available from 4 different leagues; there are modern wrestlers as well as figures of the greats going back to the late 70's; sold individually, in 2-packs, 4-packs, and whole 10-packs; no one is buying them.

When it comes to last last minute, people aren't shopping for specific items. If I may dare quote Shannon Hamilton in Mallrats, "...I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda." These people are just buying anything to have a gift to give. If it's on a shelf, the seem to believe someone will want it. Sometimes I'd guess they didn't even know who they were buying for, just buying. 'I'm sure someone will need this pair of size 28 men's briefs.'

I will never understand. I'm not big on holiday shopping to begin with; I prefer to shop online when at all possible. But I will never understand what actions lead people to begin their shopping on December 23rd, or what makes them then acquire the things they do. I guess there's only one thing to say...

Merry Christmas! Enjoy your Wrestling action figure and size 28 briefs.

Day Tripper

Archived MySpace blog

Got a good reason for taking the easy way out
Got a good reason for taking the easy way out now

She was a day tripper, one way ticket yeah
It took me so long to find out, I found out

She's a big teaser, she took me half the way there
She's a big teaser, she took me half the way there now

She was a day tripper, one way ticket yeah
It took me so long to find out, I found out

Tried to please her, she only played one night stands
Tried to please her, she only played one night stands now

She was a day tripper, Sunday driver yeah
It took me so long to find out, I found out

Day tripper
Day tripper yeah

Day tripper
Day tripper yeah...


OK, these lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with anything except that they reference daytripping and Sunday... and that it's a pretty good Beatles tune.

So, as may be gathered, Sunday we took a daytrip, out to Newport. I've always liked Newport, as had Molly, and I hadn't been in some time. So, on a whim that was cast Saturday afternoon, on Sunday morning we hit the road, 95 East.

A little traffic around New London, a nice old Packard in the next lane, a couple angry lesbians trying to run a casino bus off the road, but otherwise a smooth sail. Got to Wyoming... yeah, that's in RI, and discovered a Tim Horton's. Mmm... Ice Coffee and TimBits. Definitely a good omen.

Ice Coffee in the cup holder, we arrive in Newport. The weather is beautiful. The town is beautiful. What more can we want? A bit of shopping, some skee-ball, a delicious lunch, a but more window shopping, a donut scented air freshener which reads "Police are my favorite people", what more can one want?

To go back and do it all again.

Or maybe a new location next weekend.

Day tripper yeah

As time flies by

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: hungry

Wow, its January 18th... already. Only 18 days into the new year, but it feels like yesterday I was shoulder-blocking mall patrons trying to finish up the last of my Christmas shopping.

The good news is, having made no real resolutions, I have gone back on none of them. As for my change of attitude, I think I've been doing a decent job of making this year about me. Not selfish or self absorbed; I think I'll call my new attitude "self-interested".

Its very cold today. For the first time in a long time even I'm complaining its cold. Usually its 30 degrees, I'm in shorts, and bitching about the heat being up too much. Its supposed to get colder as the week goes on. So now my challenge is to find a way to keep my ears warm without screwing up my fabulous hair. Either that or contemplate the ear-less look as I lose them to frostbite.

It has the feelings of becoming a long week. Luckily we had yesterday off, and its already Tuesday. A long 4-day week is still better than a short 5-day week.

So, I'll hold to that thought for now.

Holiday Spirit

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: aggravated

Losing my grip on the true spirit of the holidays. Not the joyous celebration of the birth of our saviour Jesus Christ; not that religious. No, just the spirit of giving. I'm not saying I'm just in it for the gifts. Just that the spirit of giving is being overtaken by the spirit of busting someone's lip open with the bag of 3 gifts I fought 6 hours to find.

I'm not much of a shopper. This year I got a nice early jump on it. Got about half my shopping done within days of Thanksgiving. Thought I was doing well. Put off the other half way too long.

Went out tonight to get what should have been 5 easy things. Things I didn't even have to brave a mall to get. No dice. Went to the mall in spite of myself. Not only did I not find a single thing at the mall, but I was assaulted (olfactorily) by both the "Perfume Hut" and a sock stand.

See I have fairly bad allergies, and most perfumes make me sneeze uncontrollably. I miss navigated the mall, and coming within 50 feet of the dread smell of 178 different perfumes mixed together had me sneezing for the next 450 feet of mall. The sock stand, however, was but an unexpected bonus. Little did I know, that since the "sock stand" is right next to the "meat log stand", the "sock stand lady" sprays her wares with the cheapest perfume known to man to keep them from carrying the enchanting odor of meat log.

I happened upon her kiosk of hosiery exactly at the moment she felt to refresh their non-meaty fragrance. Not only was the spray dizzying in its malodorousness, but I accidentally intercepted the cloud that lingered, carrying this allergy nightmare with me for the rest of my mall endeavour.

So, there I was, empty-handed, sneezing uncontrollably, unable to escape the allergy nightmare that had attached itself to me, realizing that I would probably be doing the same dreaded thing tomorrow night.

Gosh I love the holidays.

Currently listening :
Emotive
By A Perfect Circle
Release date: 02 November, 2004