Do you have your sign?

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: cynical

My new profile image is this sign. I'm certain it's a Photoshop manipulation, but it rings so true nonetheless. My job in many ways reminds me of this sign. Today I suggested hanging a sign outside my office that read as follows:

This is the Prosecutors' Office.
Our main duty is to attempt to put people in jail.
Please keep this in mind before asking your question.

Oddly, most people who heard this suggestion received it pretty well, and took it fairly seriously. I guess we're all sort of burnt.

To steal a rant from a friend, it’s like the silica gel shipped with electronics and leather goods to prevent moisture. There is a warning printed on it that reads "Do Not Eat". Why? Did some idiot think his CD player came with free mints? Do we really want to remind the stupid of the obvious? I don't. I think Darwinism says they should have been killed by a rampaging mammoth by now.

The signs only make us dumber. The fact that I put up my last office sign in English and Spanish only perpetuates the idea that people in this country need not learn English. The average Dutchman speaks 4 languages and smokes marijuana. Are people who put mayonnaise on french fries our intellectual superiors?

You can sue someone in this country if you spill hot coffee on your own crotch. But... not if the cup is labeled "Warning! Hot Coffee may be Hot!" We are no longer expected to comprehend the obvious unless it’s written down for us. So, buy deduction, it's now culturally acceptable to be an imbecile, but not to be illiterate. Hmm.

Perhaps the true meaning of it all is you can get away with anything if you're the first one to do it. I think I'll try suing the company who made my tailpipe for nearly asphyxiating myself when I try to playing it like a musical instrument. I'll collect 2.6 million dollars, and next week we'll all have warning labels that say "Caution! Tailpipe is not a Musical Instrument. Do Not put in Mouth!". But now I have to act quickly, before one of you out there steals my lawsuit.

My favourite comedian, Eddie Izzard has a joke about the Catholics and "Original Sin", like it’s a contest to impress the priest with a sin he's never heard before. It may not quite work that way in the Church of Rome, but it seems to in a court of law.

In the mean time, I have to go. I have more signs to put up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And again, I'm listening to a CD that isn't available from Amazon, so I'll have to type it in.

Currently listening:
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance
Released: 2004