Ye Olde Watering Hole

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Current mood: reminded
Category: reminded Blogging

There is a flagpole, here in the fair Elm City, in the middle of the Green, and on it is a memorial -- I believe -- to World War II... specifically -- if I'm not mistaken... to the D-Day invasion. It bears the name Verdun, among other French town names. I could be wrong. The point is not this anyway.

As a celebration of the millennium -- OK, the common numerical millennium, not the true one which began 1 January 2001 -- it was decided there would be a fountain erected around said flagpole. And so, by the early Summer of 2000, our lovely downtown flagpole was surrounded by some variety of active moat, which, I imagine, hinders the person in charge of raising and lowering said flag.

But raising and lowering aside, the real curiosity of the fountain was discovered that July.

It seems, that in the scenic downtown Elm City, that fountains are not just for admiring. Our Millennium Fountain had become a children's swimming hole. Cute, I guess, until you actually see the shoeless unwashed masses, diapered and dirty, splashing about, and loading their pockets with the pennies, nickels, and dimes thrown in by other locals, who -- one would have to guess -- mistook the Millennium Fountain for a wishing well.

No matter. Kids will be kids. And since there had been no procedure put in place to collect the coins, I guess they can have them.

Well, except for one thing...

In the hot summer days children splash merrily in the Millennium Fountain - Wishing Well - Downtown Public Pool, but after dark the fountain has different purpose.

For, in the light of the moon, our lovely fountain has now become the Downtown Homeless Bathhouse. Yes indeed. The homeless population of the fair Elm City, of which there are many, have declared this permanent water fixture as their very own public bath tub. Although the unwashed diapered children prefer the comfort of their own much, it seems the indigent prefer to get in a good scrubbing before they retire to their park benches on a warm summer night.

Enter bureaucracy.

ElmCity Ordinance 00-481: It is unlawful to bathe in the Millennium Fountain, per order of the City.

On six 4' x 3' sandwich-board signs ringing the perimeter of the fountain.

Beauty interrupted by legislation.

But hey, no swimming, right?

One would think, but one would be wrong.

And now, five and one-half years later, the sandwich boards, long since removed, have been replaced with these markers.

"PLEASE DO NOT ENTER THE FOUNTAIN"

Somehow I think that those who would bathe in the fountain would pay no mind to these warnings.

But they do look nice.

Oh yeah... I love this day

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Romance and Relationships

Valentine's Day... and we arraign the wife beaters from the weekend past.

But today they come in together, arm-in-arm.

Even the Judicial system isn't free from the hypocrisy of the damned holiday.

They beat each other. Kicking, shoving, slapping; 5 and 6 times before this one... that their records even show. More than likely, its 3 times a week.

On Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and even Monday, they hated each other... enough to swing, enough to throw dishes... in front of the children... and the foster children... and their children from other daddies... enough even to call the cops. To scream, and yell, and threaten.

And today they file in... bruises hidden behind bad make-up, misplaced scarves... band-aids cover skin broken by knuckles... arm-in-fucking-arm, because today their in love. Today its Valentine's Day, the day that past transgressions against love or forgiven in favour of discount shop cards, over-priced chocolates, or maybe -- just maybe -- a rose from the guy with a van on the Boulevard.

Today their hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Or am I wrong?

Is today truly about forgiving the year because somebody shelled out the big bucks on Russell Stovers?

I don't know.

Answer that one after I hit you on the head with a frying pan.

What's in a name?

Archived MySpace blog
Category: Blogging

I believe I need to start a new Government agency.

Now normally, I'm not in favour of bureaucracy. Heck, I work for the Government, and know how little can actually be done. But, in this case, I think its necessary

I propose the Bureau of Baby Naming.

I believe that there need to be officials in charge of reviewing baby names, at the hospital, before they are allowed to go on Birth Certificates. Allow me to explain.

Mr. & Mrs. Pope needed to be told that they should not be allowed to name their son John.

Mr. & Mrs. Lockman should have been informed that the amusement of naming their daughter Pandora gets old quick.

Mr. & Mrs. Jones should have been made aware that naming their son SirLawrence would not make him noble.

The same should have been said to Mr. & Mrs. James of their son King.

Mr. & Mrs. Outlaw should have just been told to change their last name before all 5 of their sons ended up in jail.

Mr. & Mrs. Barry... now these were an interesting pair. 3 daughters, LaAustralia, LaAsia, and LaKeebler. I just don't know what to say but "no".

More to come in the coming days.