Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: amused
Category: Blogging
Another of those things you can only see at the Court...
Outfit for the day: Short shorts, sleeveless t-shirt, Adidas shell-toes, and one black sock.
Why one black sock? Because in her infinite genius, our friend thought that a black sock was the best way to obscure the house-arrest electronic monitoring ankle bracelet.
Obviously, it doesn't. Now not only is it obvious to everyone that she's on house arrest, but she looks like a fashion victim, too. Then again, short-shorts?!? Yeah, she's probably quite the fashion victim when she's not under house arrest.
Such is my observation for the day.
Showing posts with label court. Show all posts
Showing posts with label court. Show all posts
02 August 2006
06 February 2006
What's in a name?
Archived MySpace blog
Category: Blogging
I believe I need to start a new Government agency.
Now normally, I'm not in favour of bureaucracy. Heck, I work for the Government, and know how little can actually be done. But, in this case, I think its necessary
I propose the Bureau of Baby Naming.
I believe that there need to be officials in charge of reviewing baby names, at the hospital, before they are allowed to go on Birth Certificates. Allow me to explain.
Mr. & Mrs. Pope needed to be told that they should not be allowed to name their son John.
Mr. & Mrs. Lockman should have been informed that the amusement of naming their daughter Pandora gets old quick.
Mr. & Mrs. Jones should have been made aware that naming their son SirLawrence would not make him noble.
The same should have been said to Mr. & Mrs. James of their son King.
Mr. & Mrs. Outlaw should have just been told to change their last name before all 5 of their sons ended up in jail.
Mr. & Mrs. Barry... now these were an interesting pair. 3 daughters, LaAustralia, LaAsia, and LaKeebler. I just don't know what to say but "no".
More to come in the coming days.
Category: Blogging
I believe I need to start a new Government agency.
Now normally, I'm not in favour of bureaucracy. Heck, I work for the Government, and know how little can actually be done. But, in this case, I think its necessary
I propose the Bureau of Baby Naming.
I believe that there need to be officials in charge of reviewing baby names, at the hospital, before they are allowed to go on Birth Certificates. Allow me to explain.
Mr. & Mrs. Pope needed to be told that they should not be allowed to name their son John.
Mr. & Mrs. Lockman should have been informed that the amusement of naming their daughter Pandora gets old quick.
Mr. & Mrs. Jones should have been made aware that naming their son SirLawrence would not make him noble.
The same should have been said to Mr. & Mrs. James of their son King.
Mr. & Mrs. Outlaw should have just been told to change their last name before all 5 of their sons ended up in jail.
Mr. & Mrs. Barry... now these were an interesting pair. 3 daughters, LaAustralia, LaAsia, and LaKeebler. I just don't know what to say but "no".
More to come in the coming days.
01 November 2005
When the boss is away...
Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: amused
Contrary to popular belief, the Government is not actually a soulless machine devised to torment the citizens to which it pays lip-service to serving.
Well, maybe it is, actually, but some of the people working for it have souls... even senses of humour.
Take for example last night. Monday, October 31st, 4:30 p.m., the office staff was oddly taken by the Halloween spirit.
Yup, we toilet papered our boss' office. Gotta love it. Gotta love that he thought it was great, and aside from what was on his chair, he's left the rest intact.
So see, we're not soulless at all.
Your tax dollars at work, my friends.
Current mood: amused
Contrary to popular belief, the Government is not actually a soulless machine devised to torment the citizens to which it pays lip-service to serving.
Well, maybe it is, actually, but some of the people working for it have souls... even senses of humour.
Take for example last night. Monday, October 31st, 4:30 p.m., the office staff was oddly taken by the Halloween spirit.
Yup, we toilet papered our boss' office. Gotta love it. Gotta love that he thought it was great, and aside from what was on his chair, he's left the rest intact.
So see, we're not soulless at all.
Your tax dollars at work, my friends.
12 January 2005
People confuse me
I have to wonder why people ask certain things when they don't want an answer. Sometimes I wonder why people speak at all.
We recently relocated at work. Those who weren't effected believe it's the greatest thing for us. Those of us who moved think it's horrible. And we're not even complaining because we liked our old space, or because the desks are smaller. There are legitimate issues of efficiency in the new location.
So every day, twice to thrice a day, someone asks me, "So how do you like the new space? It's nice, right?" But the problem is, they don't want an answer. And, I seem to be pissing people off with my candor because I don't think they want the answer I have to give.
I have decided for my own sanity, to stop placating people. I've noticed a lot of people have. 2005 seems to be a year of brutal honesty. So, since I don't want to lie, and say "Oh yeah, it's great", what do I do?
How do you answer the question that really is "So how do you like the new space? It's nice, right? I've been convinced of that, so don't disagree with me."?
I don't know how to deal with this, but if I have to one more time, I think I'm gonna lose my shit.
We recently relocated at work. Those who weren't effected believe it's the greatest thing for us. Those of us who moved think it's horrible. And we're not even complaining because we liked our old space, or because the desks are smaller. There are legitimate issues of efficiency in the new location.
So every day, twice to thrice a day, someone asks me, "So how do you like the new space? It's nice, right?" But the problem is, they don't want an answer. And, I seem to be pissing people off with my candor because I don't think they want the answer I have to give.
I have decided for my own sanity, to stop placating people. I've noticed a lot of people have. 2005 seems to be a year of brutal honesty. So, since I don't want to lie, and say "Oh yeah, it's great", what do I do?
How do you answer the question that really is "So how do you like the new space? It's nice, right? I've been convinced of that, so don't disagree with me."?
I don't know how to deal with this, but if I have to one more time, I think I'm gonna lose my shit.
10 January 2005
Do you have your sign?
Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: cynical
My new profile image is this sign. I'm certain it's a Photoshop manipulation, but it rings so true nonetheless. My job in many ways reminds me of this sign. Today I suggested hanging a sign outside my office that read as follows:
Oddly, most people who heard this suggestion received it pretty well, and took it fairly seriously. I guess we're all sort of burnt.
To steal a rant from a friend, it’s like the silica gel shipped with electronics and leather goods to prevent moisture. There is a warning printed on it that reads "Do Not Eat". Why? Did some idiot think his CD player came with free mints? Do we really want to remind the stupid of the obvious? I don't. I think Darwinism says they should have been killed by a rampaging mammoth by now.
The signs only make us dumber. The fact that I put up my last office sign in English and Spanish only perpetuates the idea that people in this country need not learn English. The average Dutchman speaks 4 languages and smokes marijuana. Are people who put mayonnaise on french fries our intellectual superiors?
You can sue someone in this country if you spill hot coffee on your own crotch. But... not if the cup is labeled "Warning! Hot Coffee may be Hot!" We are no longer expected to comprehend the obvious unless it’s written down for us. So, buy deduction, it's now culturally acceptable to be an imbecile, but not to be illiterate. Hmm.
Perhaps the true meaning of it all is you can get away with anything if you're the first one to do it. I think I'll try suing the company who made my tailpipe for nearly asphyxiating myself when I try to playing it like a musical instrument. I'll collect 2.6 million dollars, and next week we'll all have warning labels that say "Caution! Tailpipe is not a Musical Instrument. Do Not put in Mouth!". But now I have to act quickly, before one of you out there steals my lawsuit.
My favourite comedian, Eddie Izzard has a joke about the Catholics and "Original Sin", like it’s a contest to impress the priest with a sin he's never heard before. It may not quite work that way in the Church of Rome, but it seems to in a court of law.
In the mean time, I have to go. I have more signs to put up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And again, I'm listening to a CD that isn't available from Amazon, so I'll have to type it in.
Currently listening:
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance
Released: 2004
Current mood: cynical
My new profile image is this sign. I'm certain it's a Photoshop manipulation, but it rings so true nonetheless. My job in many ways reminds me of this sign. Today I suggested hanging a sign outside my office that read as follows:
This is the Prosecutors' Office.
Our main duty is to attempt to put people in jail.
Please keep this in mind before asking your question.
Our main duty is to attempt to put people in jail.
Please keep this in mind before asking your question.
Oddly, most people who heard this suggestion received it pretty well, and took it fairly seriously. I guess we're all sort of burnt.
To steal a rant from a friend, it’s like the silica gel shipped with electronics and leather goods to prevent moisture. There is a warning printed on it that reads "Do Not Eat". Why? Did some idiot think his CD player came with free mints? Do we really want to remind the stupid of the obvious? I don't. I think Darwinism says they should have been killed by a rampaging mammoth by now.
The signs only make us dumber. The fact that I put up my last office sign in English and Spanish only perpetuates the idea that people in this country need not learn English. The average Dutchman speaks 4 languages and smokes marijuana. Are people who put mayonnaise on french fries our intellectual superiors?
You can sue someone in this country if you spill hot coffee on your own crotch. But... not if the cup is labeled "Warning! Hot Coffee may be Hot!" We are no longer expected to comprehend the obvious unless it’s written down for us. So, buy deduction, it's now culturally acceptable to be an imbecile, but not to be illiterate. Hmm.
Perhaps the true meaning of it all is you can get away with anything if you're the first one to do it. I think I'll try suing the company who made my tailpipe for nearly asphyxiating myself when I try to playing it like a musical instrument. I'll collect 2.6 million dollars, and next week we'll all have warning labels that say "Caution! Tailpipe is not a Musical Instrument. Do Not put in Mouth!". But now I have to act quickly, before one of you out there steals my lawsuit.
My favourite comedian, Eddie Izzard has a joke about the Catholics and "Original Sin", like it’s a contest to impress the priest with a sin he's never heard before. It may not quite work that way in the Church of Rome, but it seems to in a court of law.
In the mean time, I have to go. I have more signs to put up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And again, I'm listening to a CD that isn't available from Amazon, so I'll have to type it in.
Currently listening:
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance
Released: 2004
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