19 February 2005

The Count of New Haven's emissary visit to Lord Fairfield

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: curious


OK, odd title, I know. But, really, we have eight counties. We should have Counts. I could be the Count of New Haven. My family still has a seat on the House of Lords, and a Barony in Ireland. But anyway...

So I found myself in the second shire of the lands of Count Fairfield. And what an odd nation it is. There I met a friend of a friend, and emissary of Lord Fairfield. We had both expected to meet a common friend, but when that person failed to show, I found myself with the will to approach anyway. "Hey, aren't you... Yeah, so-and-so's friend. I'm Ëener." I'm glad I did. I won't mention the friend, at least not until I speak with certain Bridgeport detectives, or the statute of limitations runs out. But I digress...

So, I'm there, listening to a band, with my new "Kevin Bacon friends". The band tripped me out a bit. Their entire 1st set was actually the rotation from VH1 from this September. In order, I believe. I only know this because I was home sick for two weeks in September with some odd flu, and watched Insomniac Music Theatre nonstop. But again, I deviate from what I believe may have been a point.

And so I find it to be 11:00. Usually not a special moment, but at precisely 11:00 I came to an odd realization about the foreign land I was in. See, by 11:00, I was now smoking my 5th cigarette. Now, in my home county, one cannot smoke a cigarette in a bar, but in this strange land, one can. That alone would have been odd, but not as noteworthy as the next point. Apparently, in Lord Fairfield's lands, 11:00 marks another special occasion. At that time, the young female bartenders are compelled to remove their jackets and/or sweaters, revealing their midriff exposing tank-tops. Again, not particularly special on its own. But when half the female patrons of the bar follow suit, removing their outer tops, reducing themselves to what could only be described as underwear from the waste up, this I feel is something of note.

Maybe its not. Maybe I don't get out enough. I'm just not sure this phenomenon exists in my home County. Maybe I'm not going to the right bars. Maybe I am going to the right bars. All I know is, things are just a wee bit different across the County Line.

13 February 2005

Odd night

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: melancholy


In Vino Veritas, sort of, except I almost feel sober.

I'm not sure why I feel the way I do. I doesn't really make much sense. The night just felt odd from the get go. 3 of the people I was with were drinking water all night. It was just that odd kind of night.

Went out to that place in the Valley. Sing a little karaoke, have a little send off for a friend who's moving down south (3rd send off really). Sang a couple songs I'd never tried before. Should have been a good night. But instead it was odd.

Seeing my friend move out of state shouldn't have been so huge. I don't think it was. We'd known each other about a year, nothing big. There'd been a harmless and pointless flirtation -- ladies, why is it that you flirt even when you know nothing could become of it, it confuses me -- but really, just a random friend; a once a week acquaintance, really.

So if that's not why I fell sort of odd at the moment, what is? I saw an old friend yesterday. She was in town from Germany for a couple days, so we caught dinner. Early tomorrow she'll be back on a plane for Colone. Won't see her again 'til July. But I talk to her online from time to time, and she's only away temporarily. That's probably not why I feel off.

I've been a bit preoccupied with another friend of mine of late. She's in a bit of legal trouble, and in central Europe (no, she lives there normally). Early Saturday I heard from her. She said she'd be going back to see her parents for a few the weekend, but left me with no information regarding her troubles. So, I worry about her a bit. But is that why tonight felt so off. Likely not, as I didn't even think about it until the drive home.

So what is the root of this oddest of feelings. You ever go out, and it just doesn't feel right? It feels like no one's quite having a good time. The idle chit chat is forced. I don't know. I just felt wrong. I sensed it the moment I walked in, and 4 hours later, I felt like I'd stayed far longer than I should have.

So, on the way home, I just thought. Every song sounded sadder than it should have, an although I passed the diner everyone went to after they left the bar, I had no desire to stop. It didn't foretell any better feelings than the bar I had just left. I came straight home, getting in about a half hour before even last call. And I type.

Think maybe I'll just go to bed, and hope by the morning things feel normal again. I'm a bit confused anyway, because I had Friday off, and by now I feel as I should be going back to work in the morning. How sad is it when a day off doesn't really feel like a bit of vacation, but instead just fucks with your mind. I don't like my job, but in a screwed up way, I think I missed it this weekend. Then again, ask me about it on Monday and I'll likely curse it as usual.

One last piece of the bizarre... at one point it the night I sneezed. When I did, my necklace of mahogany and hematite -- the one I wear most every day -- randomly exploded. My neck is not that huge. Very strange that it should just break like that. Little beads everywhere. If you believe in that kind of thing, hematite is supposed to absorb negativity. When it has absorbed more than it can bear, it is supposed to break. I thought I had pushed away all the negative people in my life. Maybe in the end, I broke it. All I know is I have to go to American Eagle or Aeropostále, and find something new. Life's too short to worry about the emotional stability of your neckware.

08 February 2005

The Pretty Hate Machine

I was listening to the album. Probably for the first time in its entirety since 1996. Some of you know that I just couldn't for a very long time. The album was a favorite of mine at a time in my life when my emotional state coincided too closely with the of Trent Reznor at the time when he wrote it. Literally, the album would bring me to tears.

So, after some time I came to terms with the girl who was the object of the album to me. We became really good friends again. She was in my wedding. Recently I was at hers. So, since the point of her wedding, I figured I could deal with the album again. I figured I had to give it another chance, I consider it one of the best albums of the early nineties. To give it up forever would be unfair.

So, I put the album in my CD player in my car. I've gotten from start to finish on it. (Took me a couple days, my commute is pretty short.) No tears, no emotions. Not even any bad memories. It's just the music again. Trent is still angry about his love life of the time, but I'm not. It's good again... except for one thing...

It's not. Although I still recognize the significance of the album when it came out, I just don't find it good anymore. It's so very dated now. It's beginning to sound now like it was produced entirely on a single Casio keyboard. I don't mean to knock it, it was a great album. But now I feel like a shelved it for so long, I missed a lot of the opportunity to enjoy it. And now it is just flat.

Currently listening :
Pretty Hate Machine
By Nine Inch Nails
Release date: 24 September, 1991

04 February 2005

Pizza City, USA

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: full


*Disclaimer: for the purposes of this blog, "pizza" actually means pizza*

So for lunch today I'm having pizza. Bacon and Mozz from Amato's. Garlic bread with Mozz. Foxon Park Kola. And I'm thinking, if I ever left this area, I'd really miss the Pizza.

Say what you will about pizza from your hometown, but for me, New Haven pizza is the best. New York style, big and floppy, is a decent 2nd place, but nothing beats New Haven.

Its a great place to be if you love pizza. Pepe's, Sally's, Modern, Bar, Abate's, Amato's, Tolli's, the list goes on and on.

I've lived in Boston, and I've lived in Montreal, and one of the things I really missed was pizza. I'd miss it so much I'd order pizza there, and not surprisingly, I'd be utterly disgusted.

So, now is the group participation part. Drop a comment, and answer next few questions about pizza (yes, about actual pizza, Firecracker). And since most of the people who read my blog are from, or live, down here in Southern CT, I'm gonna keep some of it regional. Oh, and remove my answers. I want to hear yours, not just mine again. Here goes:

1.) Best pizza topping(s): Bacon and Onion (sometimes known as the Irish Pie)

2.) Define "plain": Sauce, no cheese, sometimes a bit of oregano or basil

3.) Most ridiculous pizza topping: Probably the Everything + Smoked Meat + Meat Sauce from the place down the street from my grandfather in Montreal. One slice made me full for days.

4.) Worst Pizza you've ever had: Possibly T-Anthony's in Boston. Yet we still went there all the time

5.) Best city to get pizza: New Haven, CT

6.) Best Pizzaria: Modern Apizza, State Street, New Haven

7.) Best Delivery that serves your home: Pizza di Roma, West Haven

8.) Pepe's or Sally's: Pepe's

9.) If not Pepe's or Sally's, best place to get "New Haven Pizza": Modern, or Bar

10.) Donal Logue's unfinished thoughts about pizza: (for those of you who watch I love the 90's)

Currently listening :
Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance
Release date: 08 June, 2004

02 February 2005

And I'd hoped this would be the good year

Archived MySpace blog
Current mood: disillusioned


Reading Pete’s blogs, and his references to the Lizard Boss – God, I haven’t heard that in years since I listened to the WigMaster religiously – reminded my of my own waddling superior. But, if I get into that here, I’ll be writing for days.

So, this year has opened up in an interesting form. A watermain break on the Saturday of the blizzard has rendered 2/3 of our office space non-usable. 8 employees are dislocated, phones and computers destroyed, and we no longer have a bathroom.

So today I decide actually I need to use the bathroom, so I go to the public men's room. Big mistake. Not only because of its publicness – those of you who know where I would know that I generally deal with only the scummy underbelly of human life – but because when I went in, I discovered that "the office" was already being used for a random urinalysis. Bloody lovely. I so fucking less than 3 my job!

Its just been like this all year, and its only February. Every stupid thing that can go wrong just does. 2 of my favourite co-workers – the kind of people who actually make the place bearable – are leaving, and I found out I'm dreadfully under-qualified for any of the jobs I thought of as my ticket out.

So, I don't know. I'm grumbley, I'm aware of that. My current pattern is work 5 days, commiserate with my other disheartened friends about 4 days, talk to my friends in Europe about once a week, and once a week go out and commit random acts of drunken self-destruction. I've gotten to the point that if I can drag my ass to work on Thursday I feel like I've accomplished something that week.

I'm pathetic.

I need a change, but I'm not sure what it is. I looked into going back to school today, that turned into a roadblock. I don't exactly have $16,000 in disposable income these days. New Dimensions is a crock. Its great if you're independently wealthy and want a degree in Business Management only. If I was that wealthy, I'm sure I could "buy" a BSBM from just about any school I wanted. I'm about this close to inventing a degree for myself. Nobody checks anyway. At 28 years old I could easily have a bachelors by now. I could have a doctorate by now, but I needed to get a job some time ago.

OK, I'm running away on a bizarre tangent. What was I saying? I don't know. Don't mind me. Maybe I just need to grab a slice of pizza?